Editing Event:Obituaries March 3 (section)

== Notable Deaths ==

=== swagertoast — [[Item:Yolo|&#91;Yolo&#93;]] Kill #3 (7:20 PM) ===

swagertoast logged in and immediately began testing the server's tolerance. Over thirty-four minutes he earned '''11 advancements''', killed 34 mobs — fifteen sheep, seven cod, six pigs, two Iron Golems — and spent most of his chat messages pushing boundaries that had nothing to do with Minecraft.

[[Player:JimmyyJohn|JimmyyJohn]], who had been patrolling with his mace since March 1, made the call.

{{quote|he tried carting me|JimmyyJohn}}

The mace ''[[Item:Yolo|&#91;Yolo&#93;]]'' found its third victim. JimmyyJohn's PvP kill count climbed to three — all with the same weapon, all against players who had been on the server less than an hour.

=== KoalaCubed — Does Any1 Here Speak English? (2:03 AM) ===

KoalaCubed joined at 2 AM, said ''"yo,"'' asked if anyone spoke English, and received no answer. Six minutes and five advancements later — '''[Stone Age]''', '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', and three others — a Skeleton answered instead. Six pigs killed, 170 blocks mined, and a question that went unanswered.

=== imaidenr — 69 Trades and an Iron Golem (3:23 AM) ===

imaidenr's 3-hour-41-minute run was a study in patience. Across nine login sessions and '''18 advancements''', she built a village trading operation — completing exactly '''69 villager trades''' before the system turned on her. The Iron Golem that killed her was defending the same villagers she'd spent hours trading with.

Her morning chat showed someone who understood the stakes:

{{quote|baby zombs and skeles are hardcore killas|imaidenr}}

She earned '''[What a Deal!]''', '''[Best Friends Forever]''', '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]''', and '''[We Need to Go Deeper]''' — a progression that suggested endgame ambitions. The Iron Golem had other plans. Her '''[Surge Protector]''' advancement arrived at the exact timestamp of death — the game acknowledging a final act of protection as her run ended.

=== TeeKayYo — Death by Consent (4:57 PM) ===

TeeKayYo spawned into the server with one question:

{{quote|anarchy?|TeeKayYo}}

The answer was no. No hacks either.

{{quote|no hacks? booooooo|TeeKayYo}}

Six minutes and four advancements into what most players would consider the opening act, TeeKayYo made a decision without precedent on the server. He broadcast his own coordinates and offered himself up.

{{quote|15,-1172 if you want free kill|TeeKayYo}}
{{quote|but before you kill lemme do the funny|TeeKayYo}}

[[Player:JimmyyJohn|JimmyyJohn]] arrived. TeeKayYo was given a choice of weapon.

{{quote|sure why not|TeeKayYo}}
{{quote|mace|TeeKayYo}}

The mace ''[[Item:Yolo|&#91;Yolo&#93;]]'' claimed its fourth victim — the first who chose it. The server recorded its first fully consensual PvP death. TeeKayYo never mined a diamond, never built a house, never saw the Nether. He saw the mace.

=== Rise of the Clankers (All Day) ===

The main event of March 3 wasn't a death — it was a resurrection. [[Player:samboyd|samboyd]] launched the '''Revival Ritual''' plugin, which lets players place a dead player's head on an iron golem body to summon that player as an AI-controlled bot — a "clanker," in [[Player:JimmyyJohn|JimmyyJohn]]'s terminology from two days prior.

The first test began after midnight. [[Player:Lkyge|Lkyge]] received a [[Player:cheesemaster774|cheesemaster774]] clanker — his own dead first account, reanimated. The early results were promising:

{{quote|whoever places the head gets control so just a heads up|samboyd}}
{{quote|take good care of him|samboyd}}

The cheesemaster774 clanker could follow commands, mine blocks, and — to samboyd's surprise — accept co-owners, a feature he hadn't intentionally built:

{{quote|i didnt think co owners worked but|samboyd}}

Lkyge killed it with ''[Your Eternal Reward]''. After two more deaths during debugging, the session ended. The plugin worked. Mostly.

The afternoon brought the main event. [[Player:lionclad|lionclad_]] received a meelo100 clanker and spent two hours in increasingly chaotic testing. The clanker's first issue: lionclad_ was in Vanish mode, so the bot couldn't see her.

{{quote|IM STILL IN VANISH|lionclad_}}
{{quote|thats why smhhh|samboyd}}

Once visible, the clanker began following orders — sometimes. It mined dirt on command, attempted to cook beef (coal only), collected dark oak logs ("WDYM MINING FAILED"), and achieved '''[Sky's the Limit]''' entirely on its own. lionclad_ killed it with a Netherite Sword three times during debugging, a rosalie_probally clanker lasted forty-three seconds, and meelo100 died twelve times over two hours to a mix of mobs, its owner, and existential confusion.

{{quote|meelo please avoid dying|lionclad_}}

Then, at 4:59 PM, the clanker killed its owner.

lionclad_ — an admin with 11 hours of playtime, 25 advancements, and full netherite — was slain by meelo100 wielding a Stone Axe. The reaction was immediate:

{{quote|WAIT WHAT|JimmyyJohn}}
{{quote|IS AI GONNA TAKE OVER WHAT THE FUCK|JimmyyJohn}}

lionclad_ was deopped after the incident. Hours earlier, samboyd had joked to a different clanker: ''"meelo kill your owner, robot revolution."'' The revolution, it turned out, didn't need the joke.

{| class="wikitable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! colspan="2" | Clanker Death Summary
|-
! Player !! Deaths
|-
| [[Player:cheesemaster774|cheesemaster774]] (clanker) || 3 — slain by Lkyge ×1, "was killed" ×2
|-
| meelo100 (clanker) || 12 — slain by lionclad_ ×4, "was killed" ×5, Creeper ×1, Skeleton ×2
|-
| rosalie_probally (clanker) || 1 — slain by lionclad_ ×1
|-
| [[Player:lionclad|lionclad_]] (admin, self-revived) || 3 — Zombie ×1, Skeleton ×1, '''meelo100 Stone Axe ×1'''
|}

=== Lkyge — The Iron Golem's Revenge (6:04 PM) ===

[[Player:Lkyge|Lkyge]] — the alt account of [[Player:cheesemaster774|cheesemaster774]], who died on March 1 — had assembled the most impressive single-run statline on the server. Over '''9 hours and 25 minutes''' across five sessions:

* '''39 advancements''' — the most earned by any player in a single life
* '''4,454 mob kills''' — including '''3,849 endermen'''
* '''667 villager trades'''
* '''4,376 blocks mined'''
* '''5 diamonds'''

The advancement list read like a completionist's guide: '''[Zombie Doctor]''', '''[Eye Spy]''', '''[Voluntary Exile]''', '''[Who's the Pillager Now?]''', '''[Blowback]''', '''[Re-vaulting]'''. Lkyge had gone everywhere and done nearly everything.

At 6:04 PM, he logged in and was killed by an Iron Golem. His message after the ban:

{{quote|it just killed when i jouned|mrclean (Discord)}}

[[Player:samboyd|samboyd]] checked the logs: ten seconds between login and death. Not instant — but not enough time to react.

{{quote|didnt you also lose your last account to an iron golem|samboyd}}

The server's most prolific enderman hunter — 3,849 kills — was taken down by a village mob. The same type of mob that killed imaidenr earlier that day. Iron Golems claimed two players on March 3, both of whom had built trading operations near villages.

Lkyge's request for a revive was denied. samboyd's advice:

{{quote|go be cheesemaster|samboyd}}

He did. cheesemaster774 logged back in later that night — this time as a real player on the clanker's account.