Editing Event:Obituaries March 5 (section)

== Notable Deaths ==

=== Marifairy — The End Giveth, the End Taketh Away (10:06 PM) ===

In just under eight hours of play, [[Player:Marifairy|Marifairy]] assembled what is arguably the most complete single-session résumé of the week: '''35 advancements''', '''499 villager trades''', '''249 mob kills''', '''14 diamonds''' collected, and over 7,600 blocks mined. She blazed through the Nether — earning '''[A Terrible Fortress]''', '''[Into Fire]''', '''[Those Were the Days]''', and '''[Local Brewery]''' in rapid succession — before locating the stronghold, activating the portal, and stepping into the End. Within the hour she had '''[The City at the End of the Game]''' and '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]''' to her name. An Enderman collected her at 10:06 PM.

Earlier in the evening, a new player named OliverDTLA had wandered in asking whether the End had been touched. Marifairy's recruitment pitch was admirably concise:

{{quote|hardcore|Marifairy}}

And in what can only be read as prophecy:

{{quote|they die|Marifairy}}

[[Player:MShaLig|MShaLig]] filed the post-mortem lesson for anyone else planning an End visit:

{{quote|:( remind me to bring pumpkin when go to the end, those enderman suck|MShaLig}}

[[Player:Lkgye|Lkgye]] offered a revival if Marifairy knew where she'd died. The ban had already landed five seconds prior.

=== EVIL_NEXUS — Back for Exactly 26 Seconds (10:03 PM) ===

{{main|Player:EVIL_NEXUS}}

Moments before 10:03 PM, [[Player:EVIL_NEXUS|EVIL_NEXUS]] returned to the server — apparently with [[Player:Lkgye|Lkgye]]'s assistance — and logged their comeback with appropriate uncertainty:

{{quote|thanks lkyge... im back?|EVIL_NEXUS}}

The question mark was warranted. Twenty-six seconds later, EVIL_NEXUS was dead, squished to death. The smoking gun: they had earned '''[The End?]''' at 10:02 PM, one minute before dying, suggesting an ambitious and poorly-timed encounter in the stronghold. [[Player:MShaLig|MShaLig]] had one question about the whole arrangement:

{{quote|you could revive people?|MShaLig}}

[[Player:Lkgye|Lkgye]]'s response said everything:

{{quote|wait sam wtf|Lkgye}}

Across roughly 9 minutes of total playtime, EVIL_NEXUS managed 7 advancements — including '''[Diamonds!]''' and '''[The End?]''' — before their second life expired faster than most players' first trip to a crafting table.

=== RadianceExists — Learning Curve (10:19 PM) ===

[[Player:RadianceExists|RadianceExists]] joined the server at 10:18 PM and spent approximately thirty seconds getting their bearings before sending their first message:

{{quote|yo?|RadianceExists}}

Then, with the dawning horror of someone who had just noticed the difficulty setting:

{{quote|THIS HARDCORE??|RadianceExists}}

A zombie armed with an iron shovel answered the question definitively at 10:19 PM. Total session length: **32 seconds**. The lone advancement earned was '''[Adventure]''', which in this case described a journey shorter than most loading screens. [[Player:Lkgye|Lkgye]]'s confirmation — "ya" — arrived at almost the exact moment as the death message.

=== ImmAidenn — Surge Protector, Golem Unprotected (2:32 AM) ===

{{main|Player:ImmAidenn}}

[[Player:ImmAidenn|ImmAidenn]] put in a respectable **53 minutes** before an Iron Golem ended it at 2:32 AM — their second death on the server, having survived a zombie earlier in the same session. With **11 advancements** and a healthy 420 blocks mined, the run was shaping up. Then the logs delivered the cruelest possible punchline: ImmAidenn earned '''[Surge Protector]''' — the advancement for surviving a lightning strike near a grounded lightning rod — at the exact moment of their death. The advancement timestamp and the ban timestamp are the same second. Protected from lightning. Not from golems.

=== The Evening Sweep: H4and, ItzKiun_ & JustSkele (6:52–6:55 PM) ===

The three friends arrived together around 6:35 PM and immediately made themselves known. By 6:52 PM, [[Player:ItzKiun_|ItzKiun_]] had killed [[Player:H4and|H4and]] — the only player kill of March 5 — and two seconds after that, ItzKiun_ fell from a high place and died themselves. The killer outlived their victim by exactly two seconds.

[[Player:JustSkele|JustSkele]], who had watched both friends die in rapid succession, expressed their feelings with appropriate economy:

{{quote|no fucking way|JustSkele}}
{{quote|my friends|JustSkele}}

But JustSkele wasn't out yet. They located what appeared to be another player's mob grinder and made use of it — for about three minutes. At 6:55 PM, a fall from a high place claimed the last surviving member of the trio, completing the sweep.

{{quote|the duo gone|MShaLig}}

It was, in fact, all three.