Editing Event:Obituaries March 8 (section)

== Notable Deaths ==

=== Killuapanda — Six Advancements in Five Minutes (3:49 AM) ===

At 3:49 AM, [[Player:Killuapanda|Killuapanda]] was felled by a zombie, wrapping up a single life that packed an unusual amount of progress into '''4 min 51 sec'''. In that window they mined 53 blocks, crafted 35 items, and took down 4 mobs — including 3 zombies — before the fourth one closed the tab.

The advancement pace was the real story. '''[Stone Age]''' fell at 3:46 AM, '''[Getting an Upgrade]''' at 3:47 AM, then both '''[Acquire Hardware]''' and '''[Monster Hunter]''' at 3:48 AM, with '''[Adventure]''' and '''[Minecraft]''' rounding out a haul of '''6 total advancements''' — four of them named and earned back-to-back in the space of two minutes while actively hunting in the dark. That's a respectable early-game progression arc compressed into a single life in the early hours of the morning. The zombies ultimately held the edge three-to-one. Better luck on the next run.

=== UniversGames — Bienvenue, Au Revoir, Banni (6:59 PM) ===

Late in the evening, a new voice arrived on the server:

{{quote|Hi! Bonjour !|UniversGames}}

{{quote|Je viens juste de rejoindre (première fois). Ça va ? '^^|UniversGames}}

[[Player:Isabeltiff|Isabeltiff]] responded warmly:

{{quote|bonjour!|Isabeltiff}}

{{quote|moi aussi, avec je ne parle pas francais hehe|Isabeltiff}}

It was shaping up to be a pleasant, if linguistically challenged, exchange. It was not to last.

[[Player:UniversGames|UniversGames]] was dead by 6:59 PM — '''3 min 8 sec''' after logging in. The kill came from a zombie that had somehow picked up and equipped an Iron Shovel, which is rare but not impossible when zombies find dropped gear. What is considerably harder to explain is the advancement record: UniversGames arrived with '''0 blocks mined''', '''0 items crafted''', and '''0 mob kills''' — and yet carried the advancement '''[We Need to Go Deeper]''', which requires entering the Nether. Someone had apparently left a portal standing. The admins formed their own theory quickly: the ban was issued at '''23:59:23 UTC, five seconds after the death'''.

UniversGames's total time on the server — from first login to permanent ban — was '''3 minutes and 9 seconds'''. They came, they greeted, they somehow got to the Nether, and a zombie with an Iron Shovel did the rest.