Editing Event:Obituaries March 15 (section)

=== ThebadsoilAlt — Alt Account, Express Elevator (8:20 AM) ===

The "Alt" in the name is doing considerable work. [[Player:ThebadsoilAlt|ThebadsoilAlt]] logged on at 7:30 AM and proceeded to dismantle the early game at a pace that only makes sense if you already know where everything is. Within five minutes of joining: '''[Stone Age]''', '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', '''[Monster Hunter]'''. Within seven minutes: '''[Diamonds!]'''. Within eight: '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]'''. Within eleven minutes, this player had diamonds, iron tools, and a tamed animal — a start that would take most newcomers a full hour to reach.

{{quote|theres a village at 0 0?|ThebadsoilAlt}}

That message, sent at 7:54 AM, says everything. The question mark is generous. By 8:04 AM, '''[A Seedy Place]''' was earned. By 8:08 AM, '''[We Need to Go Deeper]''' confirmed a Nether portal was built and entered. By 8:09 AM, '''[Ice Bucket Challenge]''' meant obsidian was already in hand. '''[Not Today, Thank You]''' at 8:11 AM showed at least one projectile had been deflected. It was not enough. A Witch's potion found its mark at 8:20 AM, ending a '''50-minute''' run that would have been impressive for anyone, let alone an alt account that hadn't broken a sweat getting there.

{{quote|rip|SharpSpade}}