Editing Event:Obituaries March 17

{{DISPLAYTITLE:Obituaries — March 17, 2026}}
__NOTOC__
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Obituaries]]

March 17, 2026 was a quiet but unforgiving day on Xandaris, with four players falling to the server's mob population across morning and evening sessions. No player-versus-player action stained the day's record, but the mobs were happy to fill the gap — two of the four deaths came in under a minute, including [[Player:AslamTJ|AslamTJ]]'s staggering 16-second Enderman encounter. [[Player:Kindsty|Kindsty]] made the most of their time, locating diamonds before a Skeleton ended proceedings, while [[Player:Meep2560|Meep2560]] managed a small act of revenge before suffering the same fate as their killer.

== Death Toll ==

{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! # !! Time (EST) !! Player !! Cause of Death !! Playtime !! Advancements
|-
| 1 || 9:56 AM || [[Player:Meep2560|Meep2560]] || Slain by a Zombie || 4 min 29 sec || 3
|-
| 2 || 4:06 PM || [[Player:danitm7878|danitm7878]] || Blown up by a Creeper || 52 sec || 1
|-
| 3 || 4:42 PM || [[Player:AslamTJ|AslamTJ]] || Slain by an Enderman || 16 sec || 1
|-
| 4 || 8:49 PM || [[Player:Kindsty|Kindsty]] || Shot by a Skeleton || ~7 min 49 sec || 4
|}

== Notable Deaths ==

=== Meep2560 — A Zombie's Revenge (9:56 AM) ===

[[Player:Meep2560|Meep2560]] arrived on Xandaris in two short bursts totaling **4 minutes and 29 seconds**. In that time they managed one concrete achievement: killing a zombie, which earned them the '''[Monster Hunter]''' advancement. The irony wrote itself from there.

Just 25 seconds before the fatal blow, Meep2560 paused to test the chat:

{{quote|Test <<<|Meep2560}}
{{quote|Nice.|Meep2560}}

A second zombie disagreed with that assessment. Three advancements — '''[Minecraft]''', '''[Adventure]''', and '''[Monster Hunter]''' — and one confirmed zombie kill on the record, but the undead had the final word.

=== danitm7878 — 52 Seconds (4:06 PM) ===

[[Player:danitm7878|danitm7878]] lasted just **52 seconds** on the server. They mined **3 blocks**, earned a single '''[Adventure]''' advancement, crafted nothing, killed nothing, and then a Creeper closed out the session. It is unclear whether they even saw it coming. The brevity speaks for itself.

=== AslamTJ — 16 Seconds (4:42 PM) ===

[[Player:AslamTJ|AslamTJ]] holds the day's — and likely the week's — record for the fastest exit, clocking in at just **16 seconds**. One '''[Adventure]''' advancement, zero blocks mined, zero items crafted, zero mob kills. An Enderman ended the run before AslamTJ could meaningfully interact with the world, suggesting an accidental glance in the wrong direction almost immediately upon spawning.

The afternoon had been quiet, with [[Player:MauiPanther|MauiPanther]] expressing some frustration at the silence roughly half an hour before AslamTJ's arrival:

{{quote|is everyone mute bro|MauiPanther}}

[[Player:KetchupGamerH|KetchupGamerH]] checked in a few minutes later:

{{quote|anybody there|KetchupGamerH}}

AslamTJ arrived and departed before either of them got an answer worth celebrating.

=== Kindsty — Diamonds! (8:49 PM) ===

[[Player:Kindsty|Kindsty]] put together the most eventful session of the day. In just under **8 minutes**, they earned four advancements — '''[Minecraft]''', '''[Adventure]''', '''[Husbandry]''', and most impressively, '''[Diamonds!]''' — accumulated kills on two pigs and two cows, and mined **18 blocks**. The '''[Diamonds!]''' advancement landed at **8:44 PM**, barely 5 minutes into the session.

Five minutes after finding diamonds, a Skeleton's arrow found Kindsty. The death message carried a fittingly absurd footnote: the Skeleton was described as having shot them ''somehow'' using a Bow — an editorial flourish from the game itself, suggesting even the server found the timing improbable. Those diamonds never made it into anything useful.

== Statistics ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Stat !! Value
|-
| Total Deaths || 4
|-
| PvP Kills || 0
|-
| By Skeleton || 1 (Kindsty)
|-
| By Zombie || 1 (Meep2560)
|-
| By Creeper || 1 (danitm7878)
|-
| By Enderman || 1 (AslamTJ)
|-
| Fastest Death || AslamTJ (16 sec)
|-
| Longest Survival || Kindsty (~7 min 49 sec)
|-
| Total Advancements Earned || 9
|}