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2026-03-16T07:04:36Z

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{{DISPLAYTITLE:Obituaries — March 15, 2026}}
__NOTOC__
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Obituaries]]

Six players fell on March 15, 2026, in a day defined entirely by mobs — not a single PvP kill to speak of, just the unblinking patience of skeletons, witches, and one very determined Wither Skeleton. The night's headliner was [[Player:Vowin|Vowin]], whose six-and-three-quarter-hour expedition through the Overworld and Nether came to an abrupt end in the small hours of the morning. Three more fell before noon, and by evening, [[Player:EastBeast567|EastBeast567]] and [[Player:PhantomCatCraft|PhantomCatCraft]] closed out the ledger within sixty seconds of each other.

== Death Toll ==

{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! # !! Time (EST) !! Player !! Cause of Death !! Playtime !! Advancements
|-
| 1 || 12:35 AM || [[Player:Vowin|Vowin]] || Slain by a Wither Skeleton || ~6 hrs 45 min || 25
|-
| 2 || 3:56 AM || [[Player:myDogisAGod|myDogisAGod]] || Slain by a Drowned || ~1 hr 7 min || 10
|-
| 3 || 8:20 AM || [[Player:ThebadsoilAlt|ThebadsoilAlt]] || Killed by a Witch using magic || ~50 min || 15
|-
| 4 || 8:56 AM || [[Player:Ixzvth|Ixzvth]] || Shot by a Skeleton || ~9 min || 6
|-
| 5 || 5:37 PM || [[Player:EastBeast567|EastBeast567]] || Slain by a Cave Spider || ~37 min || 7
|-
| 6 || 5:38 PM || [[Player:PhantomCatCraft|PhantomCatCraft]] || Slain by a Skeleton || ~38 min || 11
|}

== Notable Deaths ==

=== Vowin — Six Hours and a Wither Skeleton (12:35 AM) ===

Six hours and forty-five minutes. That is how long [[Player:Vowin|Vowin]] spent building, trading, and fighting before a Wither Skeleton in the Nether put an end to the night. By the time it was over, Vowin had accumulated '''25 advancements''', '''193 mob kills''', and a remarkable '''178 villager trades''' — the resume of someone who came to Xandaris with a plan and nearly saw it through.

The kill list alone tells a story: 40 Iron Golems, 27 sheep, 26 Magma Cubes, 24 cows, 23 Blazes. This was not a player who lingered near spawn. Advancement highlights included '''[Hot Tourist Destinations]''', '''[A Terrible Fortress]''', '''[Into Fire]''', and '''[Return to Sender]''', marking a thorough and confident Nether campaign. '''[Suit Up]''' at 9:37 PM and '''[Local Brewery]''' at 10:43 PM suggest the Overworld preparation was just as methodical.

The final session lasted six seconds. Vowin had logged off earlier, returned just after midnight, and met a Wither Skeleton almost immediately. No heroic last stand — just a player who came back one time too many.

=== myDogisAGod — Diamond Armor, Drowned Problems (3:56 AM) ===

There is something quietly deflating about earning '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]''' — full diamond armor, the peak of vanilla protection — and still losing to a Drowned. [[Player:myDogisAGod|myDogisAGod]] spent over an hour on the server, cleared '''10 advancements''', and kitted out in the game's finest pre-Netherite gear. The Drowned, famously indifferent to such achievements, did not care.

=== ThebadsoilAlt — Alt Account, Express Elevator (8:20 AM) ===

The "Alt" in the name is doing considerable work. [[Player:ThebadsoilAlt|ThebadsoilAlt]] logged on at 7:30 AM and proceeded to dismantle the early game at a pace that only makes sense if you already know where everything is. Within five minutes of joining: '''[Stone Age]''', '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', '''[Monster Hunter]'''. Within seven minutes: '''[Diamonds!]'''. Within eight: '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]'''. Within eleven minutes, this player had diamonds, iron tools, and a tamed animal — a start that would take most newcomers a full hour to reach.

{{quote|theres a village at 0 0?|ThebadsoilAlt}}

That message, sent at 7:54 AM, says everything. The question mark is generous. By 8:04 AM, '''[A Seedy Place]''' was earned. By 8:08 AM, '''[We Need to Go Deeper]''' confirmed a Nether portal was built and entered. By 8:09 AM, '''[Ice Bucket Challenge]''' meant obsidian was already in hand. '''[Not Today, Thank You]''' at 8:11 AM showed at least one projectile had been deflected. It was not enough. A Witch's potion found its mark at 8:20 AM, ending a '''50-minute''' run that would have been impressive for anyone, let alone an alt account that hadn't broken a sweat getting there.

{{quote|rip|SharpSpade}}

=== Ixzvth — The Alliance That Couldn't Save Anyone (8:56 AM) ===

[[Player:Ixzvth|Ixzvth]] logged on at 8:47 AM with no armor and opened with the obvious question:

{{quote|anyone want to team|Ixzvth}}

[[Player:SharpSpade|SharpSpade]], already in diamond armor, was willing to negotiate but not commit. The exchange that followed had the energy of a job interview neither party was especially enthusiastic about:

{{quote|what armor do you have?|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|none rn|Ixzvth}}
{{quote|just got in|Ixzvth}}
{{quote|i'll think about it|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|you good at pvp?|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|ig|Ixzvth}}
{{quote|i'll ally but not team|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|fine with you?|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|hol up what armor do you have|Ixzvth}}
{{quote|diamond|SharpSpade}}
{{quote|you got a base|Ixzvth}}
{{quote|nah|SharpSpade}}

The alliance never materialized into anything useful. Ixzvth was shot by a Skeleton at 8:56 AM — '''8 minutes and 58 seconds''' into the run — still armorless, still baseless, still nominally allied with a player in full diamond who had nothing to share. Six advancements collected; none of them especially helpful at the end.

=== EastBeast567 & PhantomCatCraft — One Minute Apart (5:37–5:38 PM) ===

The evening session ended with two deaths in rapid succession, as if the server decided to tidy up at closing time. [[Player:EastBeast567|EastBeast567]] was taken by a Cave Spider at 5:37 PM after '''37 minutes''' of play; [[Player:PhantomCatCraft|PhantomCatCraft]] followed exactly one minute later, dropped by a Skeleton at 5:38 PM after '''38 minutes''' on the server. The two had been online simultaneously for most of their respective runs.

PhantomCatCraft's final stretch was eventful — '''[Minecraft: Trial(s) Edition]''' arrived at 5:37 PM, indicating a Trial Chamber had been located and cleared in the minutes just before death. Completing a vault and then walking into an arrow is the kind of timing that deserves a moment of acknowledgment. PhantomCatCraft also briefly reconnected after being banned, logging back in for two seconds before the situation presumably became clear.

EastBeast567's session opened with a burst of connection instability — four logins totaling barely 84 seconds combined across the first ten minutes — before finally settling into a 35-minute run that ended with a Cave Spider. EastBeast567 had personally slain a Cave Spider earlier in that same session, which makes the eventual cause of death feel pointed.

== Statistics ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Stat !! Value
|-
| Total Deaths || 6
|-
| PvP Kills || 0
|-
| By Wither Skeleton || 1 (Vowin)
|-
| By Drowned || 1 (myDogisAGod)
|-
| By Witch || 1 (ThebadsoilAlt)
|-
| By Skeleton || 2 (Ixzvth, PhantomCatCraft)
|-
| By Cave Spider || 1 (EastBeast567)
|-
| Fastest Death || Ixzvth (~9 min)
|-
| Longest Survival || Vowin (~6 hrs 45 min)
|-
| First-Time Players || —
|-
| Total Advancements Earned || 74
|}

Event:Obituaries March 15 - Revision history

Maintenance script: Auto-generated obituaries