Maintenance script: Auto-generated obituaries

2026-03-20T07:03:22Z

Auto-generated obituaries

New page

{{DISPLAYTITLE:Obituaries — March 19, 2026}}
__NOTOC__
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Obituaries]]

March 19, 2026 claimed six players across a largely quiet day on Xandaris, with no PvP bloodshed — just an unforgiving world doing what it does best. Two skeletons led the kill count, a pair of watery ends rounded out the roster, and one ill-fated climber discovered the hard way that what goes up must come down. The day's undisputed standout was [[Player:Mamih213|Mamih213]], who blazed through ten advancements — diamond armor, mob kills, and a Nether portal run — in just over fourteen minutes before a skeleton ended it all.

== Death Toll ==

{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! # !! Time (EST) !! Player !! Cause of Death !! Playtime !! Advancements
|-
| 1 || 12:02 AM || [[Player:Dragloncon|Dragloncon]] || Blown up by a Creeper || 2 min 0 sec || 2
|-
| 2 || 12:37 AM || [[Player:slothy1nplayz|slothy1nplayz]] || Drowned || ~3 min 19 sec || 0
|-
| 3 || 7:54 AM || [[Player:MauiPanther|MauiPanther]] || Shot by a Skeleton || ~7 min 44 sec || 1
|-
| 4 || 10:30 AM || [[Player:ShadyPOPCAT|ShadyPOPCAT]] || Fell from a high place || ~15 min 23 sec || 5
|-
| 5 || 12:22 PM || [[Player:Mamih213|Mamih213]] || Shot by a Skeleton || ~14 min 15 sec || 10
|-
| 6 || 1:12 PM || [[Player:Monkey_Boy12|Monkey_Boy12]] || Slain by a Drowned || ~4 min 8 sec || 5
|}

== Notable Deaths ==

=== Dragloncon — Creeper'd Before the Crafting Was Done (12:02 AM) ===

Two minutes. That is all [[Player:Dragloncon|Dragloncon]] had — and somehow they spent it crafting thirty-six items and mining thirteen blocks before a Creeper rendered all of it moot at 12:02 AM. Whether they were impressively efficient or simply too busy at the crafting table to notice the hissing is a matter of interpretation. Two advancements and a crater were all that remained.

=== slothy1nplayz — A Brief Hello (12:37 AM) ===

[[Player:slothy1nplayz|slothy1nplayz]] had time for exactly one message before the world closed in.

{{quote|hi <<<|slothy1nplayz}}

Three minutes and nineteen seconds after logging on, they had drowned — zero advancements, four blocks mined, and a wave that nobody on the server got to return. The water had the last word.

=== MauiPanther — Four Chances, One Skeleton (7:54 AM) ===

[[Player:MauiPanther|MauiPanther]]'s run was less a survival story than an extended negotiation with a skeleton across four separate sessions stretched over roughly ninety minutes of real time. They logged in, assessed the situation, retreated, came back — and on the fourth attempt, the skeleton closed the deal in just 51 seconds.

{| class="wikitable" style="width:auto;"
|-
! Session !! Duration !! Outcome
|-
| 1 || 19 sec || Logged off
|-
| 2 || ~1 min 14 sec || Logged off
|-
| 3 || 48 sec || Logged off
|-
| 4 || 51 sec || Game Over
|}

Thirty-one blocks mined across those attempts, and a single '''[Adventure]''' advancement to show for it all. The skeleton simply had more patience.

=== ShadyPOPCAT — A Fall From Grace (10:30 AM) ===

[[Player:ShadyPOPCAT|ShadyPOPCAT]] was something of a veteran by March 19 standards. Their first sessions came the previous evening, during which they earned '''[Stone Age]'''. They returned the following morning with purpose: five animals fell to their hand (two chickens, two pigs, a cow), 148 blocks were mined, and at 10:21 AM they claimed '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', rounding out five total advancements and putting iron tools in their inventory.

Then they fell from a high place.

Five advancements, a morning's work, iron gear, and a multi-day survival story — all erased in a single bad step. Gravity is not impressed by accomplishments.

=== Mamih213 — Fourteen Minutes of Everything (12:22 PM) ===

[[Player:Mamih213|Mamih213]] played the best single run of the day, and it wasn't particularly close. In fourteen minutes they assembled an entire early-game résumé:

* 12:14 PM — '''[Stone Age]''', '''[Getting an Upgrade]'''
* 12:16 PM — '''[Cover Me with Diamonds]''', '''[Monster Hunter]'''
* 12:17 PM — '''[Acquire Hardware]'''
* 12:20 PM — '''[We Need to Go Deeper]'''

Ten advancements. Diamond armor. A Nether portal. Nine mob kills including a wolf pack of four and two zombie villagers. All of it in the span of a lunch break. And then, at 12:22 PM, a skeleton shot them.

{{quote|F|Rohiov}}

[[Player:Rohiov|Rohiov]]'s tribute was well-earned. Mamih213's run didn't end to some grand trap or fearsome boss — it ended to a routine arrow from a routine skeleton. That might be the most Xandaris ending of all.

=== Monkey_Boy12 — Five Advancements, Four Minutes (1:12 PM) ===

[[Player:Monkey_Boy12|Monkey_Boy12]] matched [[Player:ShadyPOPCAT|ShadyPOPCAT]]'s five-advancement total while operating on a quarter of the time. '''[Stone Age]''' and '''[Getting an Upgrade]''' both fell at the 1:10 PM mark, just two minutes into their only session. A Drowned ended the run at 1:12 PM — 53 blocks mined, 44 items crafted, zero mob kills. They built fast and moved fast, straight into whatever body of water was hiding that Drowned.

{{quote|F|Rohiov}}

[[Player:Rohiov|Rohiov]] was on hand again. Some days that's the most you can ask for.

== Statistics ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Stat !! Value
|-
| Total Deaths || 6
|-
| PvP Kills || 0
|-
| By Skeleton || 2 (MauiPanther, Mamih213)
|-
| By Drowned (mob) || 1 (Monkey_Boy12)
|-
| By Drowning || 1 (slothy1nplayz)
|-
| By Creeper || 1 (Dragloncon)
|-
| By Fall || 1 (ShadyPOPCAT)
|-
| Fastest Death || Dragloncon (2 min 0 sec)
|-
| Longest Survival || ShadyPOPCAT (~15 min 23 sec)
|-
| First-Time Players || 6 of 6
|-
| Total Advancements Earned || 23
|}

Event:Obituaries March 19 - Revision history

Maintenance script: Auto-generated obituaries