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2026-03-24T07:01:33Z

Auto-generated obituaries

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{{DISPLAYTITLE:Obituaries — March 23, 2026}}
__NOTOC__
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Obituaries]]

March 23, 2026 was a slow day on Xandaris — just two deaths, both over before anyone had time to craft so much as a wooden pickaxe. [[Player:denozipro|denozipro]] opened the morning with a lava death and an immediate ban, while [[Player:svtrooper|svtrooper]] closed out the night with a 41-second zombie encounter. Neither player had a single item crafted to their name.

== Death Toll ==

{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! # !! Time (EST) !! Player !! Cause of Death !! Playtime !! Advancements
|-
| 1 || 9:38 AM || [[Player:denozipro|denozipro]] || Thought lava was a hot tub || 57 sec || 0
|-
| 2 || 11:55 PM || [[Player:svtrooper|svtrooper]] || Slain by Zombie || 41 sec || 1
|}

== Notable Deaths ==

=== denozipro — Hello, Goodbye, Banned (9:38 AM) ===

[[Player:denozipro|denozipro]] arrived on Xandaris at 9:37 AM with an introduction.

{{quote|helo <<<|denozipro}}

That was the full extent of their contribution to server discourse. Fifty-seven seconds after logging on — five of which were apparently spent locating lava — denozipro perished, the server recording the cause with its usual deadpan: ''thought lava was a hot tub''. Four seconds after the death notification, a ban arrived. The session log reads '''[Game Over]''', and it means it.

denozipro mined **5 blocks** and earned zero advancements. There is not much else to say.

=== svtrooper — 41 Seconds (11:55 PM) ===

Late-night Xandaris claimed [[Player:svtrooper|svtrooper]] at 11:55 PM in what may stand as the day's most efficient death. svtrooper joined, mined **3 blocks**, and was killed by a zombie in **41 seconds** flat. In a small irony, they did manage to earn the '''[Adventure]''' advancement — awarded for tangling with a mob — though the circumstances were not exactly triumphant.

svtrooper had zero kills, zero items crafted, and zero diamonds. The zombie, presumably, moved on.

== Statistics ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Stat !! Value
|-
| Total Deaths || 2
|-
| PvP Kills || 0
|-
| By Zombie || 1 (svtrooper)
|-
| By Lava || 1 (denozipro)
|-
| Fastest Death || svtrooper (41 sec)
|-
| Longest Survival || denozipro (57 sec)
|-
| First-Time Players || 2 of 2
|-
| Total Advancements Earned || 1
|}

Event:Obituaries March 23 - Revision history

Maintenance script: Auto-generated obituaries