Event:Obituaries March 5

March 5, 2026 claimed thirteen lives across nearly twenty-one hours of play, with causes ranging from a zombie wielding an iron shovel to a PvP kill that took the killer down two seconds after their victim. The day's standout run belonged to Marifairy, who put together 35 advancements and 499 villager trades over nearly eight hours before an Enderman closed the book in the End. The evening arrived with a swift and complete catastrophe: ItzKiun_ slew H4and at 6:52 PM, fell to their own death two seconds later, and their friend JustSkele followed three minutes after — a clean sweep of the whole crew.

Death Toll

#	Time (EST)	Player	Cause of Death	Playtime	Advancements
1	10:03 PM	EVIL_NEXUS	Squished to death	~9 min	7
2	10:06 PM	Marifairy	Slain by an Enderman	~7 hrs 40 min	35
3	10:19 PM	RadianceExists	Slain by a Zombie using Iron Shovel	32 sec	1
4	2:32 AM	ImmAidenn	Slain by an Iron Golem	~53 min	11
5	4:00 AM	__ElleN__	Blown up by a Creeper	~32 min	8
6	4:54 AM	MrMeCow	Slain by a Zombie	~8 min 52 sec	1
7	11:00 AM	uhuh80	Fell from a high place	~3 min 44 sec	0
8	2:39 PM	Zhirri	Slain by a Zombie	34 sec	1
9	3:30 PM	0shiNoKo	Shot by a Skeleton	~21 min	9
10	4:26 PM	iGvrgo	Shot by a Skeleton	~2 min 16 sec	2
11	6:52 PM	H4and	Slain by ItzKiun_	~16 min	5
12	6:52 PM	ItzKiun_	Fell from a high place	~16 min 46 sec	5
13	6:55 PM	JustSkele	Fell from a high place	~19 min 29 sec	7

Notable Deaths

Marifairy — The End Giveth, the End Taketh Away (10:06 PM)

In just under eight hours of play, Marifairy assembled what is arguably the most complete single-session résumé of the week: 35 advancements, 499 villager trades, 249 mob kills, 14 diamonds collected, and over 7,600 blocks mined. She blazed through the Nether — earning [A Terrible Fortress], [Into Fire], [Those Were the Days], and [Local Brewery] in rapid succession — before locating the stronghold, activating the portal, and stepping into the End. Within the hour she had [The City at the End of the Game] and [Cover Me with Diamonds] to her name. An Enderman collected her at 10:06 PM.

Earlier in the evening, a new player named OliverDTLA had wandered in asking whether the End had been touched. Marifairy's recruitment pitch was admirably concise:

"hardcore"— Marifairy

And in what can only be read as prophecy:

"they die"— Marifairy

MShaLig filed the post-mortem lesson for anyone else planning an End visit:

":( remind me to bring pumpkin when go to the end, those enderman suck"— MShaLig

Lkgye offered a revival if Marifairy knew where she'd died. The ban had already landed five seconds prior.

EVIL_NEXUS — Back for Exactly 26 Seconds (10:03 PM)

Main article: Player:EVIL_NEXUS

Moments before 10:03 PM, EVIL_NEXUS returned to the server — apparently with Lkgye's assistance — and logged their comeback with appropriate uncertainty:

"thanks lkyge... im back?"— EVIL_NEXUS

The question mark was warranted. Twenty-six seconds later, EVIL_NEXUS was dead, squished to death. The smoking gun: they had earned [The End?] at 10:02 PM, one minute before dying, suggesting an ambitious and poorly-timed encounter in the stronghold. MShaLig had one question about the whole arrangement:

"you could revive people?"— MShaLig

Lkgye's response said everything:

"wait sam wtf"— Lkgye

Across roughly 9 minutes of total playtime, EVIL_NEXUS managed 7 advancements — including [Diamonds!] and [The End?] — before their second life expired faster than most players' first trip to a crafting table.

RadianceExists — Learning Curve (10:19 PM)

RadianceExists joined the server at 10:18 PM and spent approximately thirty seconds getting their bearings before sending their first message:

"yo?"— RadianceExists

Then, with the dawning horror of someone who had just noticed the difficulty setting:

"THIS HARDCORE??"— RadianceExists

A zombie armed with an iron shovel answered the question definitively at 10:19 PM. Total session length: **32 seconds**. The lone advancement earned was [Adventure], which in this case described a journey shorter than most loading screens. Lkgye's confirmation — "ya" — arrived at almost the exact moment as the death message.

ImmAidenn — Surge Protector, Golem Unprotected (2:32 AM)

Main article: Player:ImmAidenn

ImmAidenn put in a respectable **53 minutes** before an Iron Golem ended it at 2:32 AM — their second death on the server, having survived a zombie earlier in the same session. With **11 advancements** and a healthy 420 blocks mined, the run was shaping up. Then the logs delivered the cruelest possible punchline: ImmAidenn earned [Surge Protector] — the advancement for surviving a lightning strike near a grounded lightning rod — at the exact moment of their death. The advancement timestamp and the ban timestamp are the same second. Protected from lightning. Not from golems.

The Evening Sweep: H4and, ItzKiun_ & JustSkele (6:52–6:55 PM)

The three friends arrived together around 6:35 PM and immediately made themselves known. By 6:52 PM, ItzKiun_ had killed H4and — the only player kill of March 5 — and two seconds after that, ItzKiun_ fell from a high place and died themselves. The killer outlived their victim by exactly two seconds.

JustSkele, who had watched both friends die in rapid succession, expressed their feelings with appropriate economy:

"no fucking way"— JustSkele

"my friends"— JustSkele

But JustSkele wasn't out yet. They located what appeared to be another player's mob grinder and made use of it — for about three minutes. At 6:55 PM, a fall from a high place claimed the last surviving member of the trio, completing the sweep.

"the duo gone"— MShaLig

It was, in fact, all three.

Statistics

Stat	Value
Total Deaths	13
PvP Kills	1 (ItzKiun_ → H4and)
By Zombie	3 (RadianceExists, MrMeCow, Zhirri)
By Skeleton	2 (0shiNoKo, iGvrgo)
By Enderman	1 (Marifairy)
By Iron Golem	1 (ImmAidenn)
By Creeper	1 (__ElleN__)
Squished	1 (EVIL_NEXUS)
By Fall	3 (uhuh80, ItzKiun_, JustSkele)
Fastest Death	RadianceExists (32 sec)
Longest Survival	Marifairy (~7 hrs 40 min)
Total Advancements Earned	92