Event:Obituaries March 22

Seven players perished on March 22, 2026, in a day that belonged entirely to the mobs — not a single drop of player blood was spilled by another player's hand. Skeletons led the body count with three kills, but the day's defining story was Rohiov's eleven-hour marathon disintegrating into a zombie mauling just moments after surviving a lightning strike. Close behind in sheer drama: incirthecat, who spent the last 90 seconds of their 2-minute session pleading for rescue and insisting they owned a diamond set.

Death Toll

#	Time (EST)	Player	Cause of Death	Playtime	Advancements
1	7:03 PM	stew_man3	Slain by a Vindicator	~58 min	10
2	8:32 PM	Rohiov	Slain by a Zombie	~11 hrs 39 min	16
3	12:32 AM	incirthecat	Shot by a Skeleton (Bow)	2 min 24 sec	1
4	3:52 AM	__Spacecat__	Slain by a Drowned	~8 min	5
5	6:29 AM	G0LDHASE	Shot by a Skeleton (Bow)	~8 min	5
6	6:31 AM	Unlustiger_	Fell from a high place	~9 min 53 sec	6
7	11:28 AM	Darii_1011	Slain by a Skeleton	~11 min 47 sec	4

Notable Deaths

stew_man3 — Shield Up, Axe Down (7:03 PM)

stew_man3 put together a solid first hour: nearly 59 minutes on the clock, 10 advancements, and 23 mob kills — including 11 zombies and a pair of skeletons. At 7:01 PM they earned [Not Today, Thank You], the advancement awarded for deflecting a projectile with a shield. It was, in retrospect, a fitting but temporary reprieve.

Two minutes later, a Vindicator's axe found its mark. The shield that had just earned its citation was no match for the illager's particular brand of violence. stew_man3 departed with their armor intact and their record unblemished — just one death, one Vindicator, no second chances.

Rohiov — Eleven Hours, One Zombie (8:32 PM)

There is no graceful way to summarize what happened to Rohiov. In 11 hours and 39 minutes of continuous play, they killed 341 mobs — 128 of them Pillagers — mined 8,708 blocks, crafted 6,327 items, completed 71 villager trades, found 6 diamonds, and earned 16 advancements. The list includes [Voluntary Exile] (killing a raid captain), [Diamonds!], [You've Got a Friend in Me], [Best Friends Forever], and [What a Deal!]. By any measure, this was a full and productive life.

At 8:32 PM — the exact minute of their death — Rohiov earned [Surge Protector], the advancement for surviving a lightning strike while wearing armor. They had outlasted a thunderbolt. The zombies were less courteous.

It ended with the death message: was slain by a bunch of Zombie's. After 128 pillager kills, a tamed companion, a diamond haul, and a full raid-captain bounty, one shambling undead mob did what the entire Pillager Corps could not. The server's longest session of the day closed without ceremony.

incirthecat — The Diamond Question (12:32 AM)

incirthecat logged in at 12:30 AM and wasted no time establishing the stakes:

"guys find me help ill dieee"— incirthecat

"zold_ are u there??"— incirthecat

No rescue materialized. Ninety seconds later, conditions had deteriorated:

"omg halff plssss"— incirthecat

And then, in the session's most memorable dispatch, delivered at 12:32 AM — approximately nine seconds before death:

"i have dia set"— incirthecat

A skeleton arrow resolved the matter at 12:32 AM. Total playtime: 2 minutes and 24 seconds. Advancements earned: 1 ([Adventure]). Diamonds recorded: 0. Items crafted: 0. Blocks mined: 5.

The diamond set, if it existed, went with them. If it did not exist, the performance was impeccable.

Unlustiger_ — Mourner's Fall (6:31 AM)

At 6:29 AM, G0LDHASE was shot down by a skeleton, closing out an eight-minute session with 5 advancements to their name. Unlustiger_, who had been playing alongside them since roughly the same login window, offered their respects:

"RIP"— Unlustiger_

Then, at 6:31 AM:

"o7"— Unlustiger_

Five seconds later, Unlustiger_ fell from a high place and died.

They had earned 6 advancements in under ten minutes — including [Monster Hunter], having personally dispatched two skeletons of their own. The irony is meticulous: they paused mid-game to eulogize a fallen companion, typed the salute, and immediately followed them into the death log. The tribute was complete before gravity filed its invoice.

Statistics

Stat	Value
Total Deaths	7
PvP Kills	0
By Skeleton/Stray	3 (incirthecat, G0LDHASE, Darii_1011)
By Zombie	1 (Rohiov)
By Vindicator	1 (stew_man3)
By Drowned	1 (__Spacecat__)
By Fall	1 (Unlustiger_)
Fastest Death	incirthecat (2 min 24 sec)
Longest Survival	Rohiov (~11 hrs 39 min)
First-Time Players	7 of 7
Total Advancements Earned	47