Event:Obituaries March 23

March 23, 2026 was a slow day on Xandaris — just two deaths, both over before anyone had time to craft so much as a wooden pickaxe. denozipro opened the morning with a lava death and an immediate ban, while svtrooper closed out the night with a 41-second zombie encounter. Neither player had a single item crafted to their name.

Death Toll

#	Time (EST)	Player	Cause of Death	Playtime	Advancements
1	9:38 AM	denozipro	Thought lava was a hot tub	57 sec	0
2	11:55 PM	svtrooper	Slain by Zombie	41 sec	1

Notable Deaths

denozipro — Hello, Goodbye, Banned (9:38 AM)

denozipro arrived on Xandaris at 9:37 AM with an introduction.

"helo <<<"— denozipro

That was the full extent of their contribution to server discourse. Fifty-seven seconds after logging on — five of which were apparently spent locating lava — denozipro perished, the server recording the cause with its usual deadpan: thought lava was a hot tub. Four seconds after the death notification, a ban arrived. The session log reads [Game Over], and it means it.

denozipro mined **5 blocks** and earned zero advancements. There is not much else to say.

svtrooper — 41 Seconds (11:55 PM)

Late-night Xandaris claimed svtrooper at 11:55 PM in what may stand as the day's most efficient death. svtrooper joined, mined **3 blocks**, and was killed by a zombie in **41 seconds** flat. In a small irony, they did manage to earn the [Adventure] advancement — awarded for tangling with a mob — though the circumstances were not exactly triumphant.

svtrooper had zero kills, zero items crafted, and zero diamonds. The zombie, presumably, moved on.

Statistics

Stat	Value
Total Deaths	2
PvP Kills	0
By Zombie	1 (svtrooper)
By Lava	1 (denozipro)
Fastest Death	svtrooper (41 sec)
Longest Survival	denozipro (57 sec)
First-Time Players	2 of 2
Total Advancements Earned	1