Event:Obituaries March 28

March 28, 2026 saw five deaths across Xandaris, every one of them at the hands of hostile mobs — zombies claimed two, with a creeper, a skeleton, and an Enderman rounding out the roster. The day's richest story came from Adhomz, a newcomer who sprinted through eleven advancements, discovered diamonds, and pleaded for a teammate before a zombie intervened. Not far behind in ambition was coltinaaa_, who assembled a full iron kit in under nineteen minutes and was vaporized by a creeper sixty seconds after claiming [Suit Up]. At the other extreme, Kypheron lasted just 46 seconds — long enough to kill one rabbit.

Death Toll

#	Time (EST)	Player	Cause of Death	Playtime	Advancements
1	9:39 AM	coltinaaa_	Blown up by a Creeper	~18 min 30 sec	10
2	11:47 AM	Adhomz	Slain by a Zombie	~28 min 2 sec	11
3	12:50 PM	oh_ikonn	Shot by a Skeleton using Bow	~1 min 56 sec	1
4	6:25 PM	Kypheron	Slain by an Enderman	46 sec	1
5	10:09 PM	Wundertroete	Slain by a Zombie	~38 min 25 sec	6

Notable Deaths

coltinaaa_ — Suited Up, Then Gone (9:39 AM)

coltinaaa_ played one of the most efficiently doomed runs in recent memory. In just over eighteen minutes they carved a path through ten advancements: [Stone Age] at 9:24 AM, [Getting an Upgrade], [Monster Hunter], [Acquire Hardware], [Isn't It Iron Pick], [Not Today, Thank You], and finally [Suit Up] — a full iron kit — at 9:38 AM. Along the way they racked up thirteen mob kills including six salmon, two zombies, two skeletons, a chicken, and a spider.

One minute after earning [Suit Up], a creeper ended everything. The armor was new. It did not help.

Adhomz — Diamonds, No Teammates (11:47 AM)

Adhomz arrived at 11:20 AM with a lot of questions and a nearly empty server to ask them to.

"hi guys"— Adhomz

"is anyone in this server"— Adhomz

Nobody responded. Unfazed, Adhomz got to work. Over the next 28 minutes they earned eleven advancements — the day's highest — including the server's hardest to fake: [Diamonds!], claimed after mining a vein of six at 11:44 AM. They had iron armor ([Suit Up]), an iron pickaxe ([Isn't It Iron Pick]), and even a moment of genuine defensive skill when they deflected a projectile with a shield to earn [Not Today, Thank You] at 11:47 AM.

"can u be my teamate"— Adhomz

The request, directed at pepperoni_dude at 11:41 AM, went unanswered in any useful sense. Less than a minute after earning [Not Today, Thank You], a zombie arrived and Adhomz's run ended.

oh_ikonn — One Hundred and Sixteen Seconds (12:50 PM)

oh_ikonn joined at 12:48 PM, mined two blocks, and was shot by a skeleton at 12:50 PM. Total playtime: 1 minute and 56 seconds. They earned the [Adventure] advancement, which was probably not how they imagined it going.

Kypheron — Forty-Six Seconds (6:25 PM)

Kypheron holds the day's record for shortest run at 46 seconds. In that time they managed to mine 18 blocks and kill one rabbit — an almost endearing level of productivity for less than a minute of life. An Enderman ended the evening before Kypheron could build on it.

Wundertroete — I'm Sorry (10:09 PM)

Wundertroete brought roughly 26 minutes of prior playtime into tonight's session and added twelve more, earning six total advancements: [Stone Age], [Minecraft], [Getting an Upgrade], [Monster Hunter], [Adventure], and [Husbandry]. They killed ten mobs — four zombies, a zombie villager, a chicken, a sheep, and a cow among them.

At 10:04 PM, five minutes before the end, they sent a single message:

"im sry"— Wundertroete

What they were apologizing for is unknown. A zombie did not ask for an explanation.

Statistics

Stat	Value
Total Deaths	5
PvP Kills	0
By Zombie	2 (Adhomz, Wundertroete)
By Creeper	1 (coltinaaa_)
By Skeleton	1 (oh_ikonn)
By Enderman	1 (Kypheron)
Fastest Death	Kypheron (46 sec)
Longest Survival	Wundertroete (~38 min 25 sec)
First-Time Players	4 of 5 (coltinaaa_, Adhomz, oh_ikonn, Kypheron)
Total Advancements Earned	29