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Event:Obituaries March 6

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March 6th brought six deaths to Xandaris, headlined by a decisive PvP execution that sent WalkZDog to the respawn screen courtesy of JimmyyJohn and his infamous [#10 Hunters Club]. The midday hours were cruel to newcomers, with two fresh players — ramminn and HappyJaeyun — dying within six minutes of each other before their brief alliance could amount to anything. Izyk put together an impressive **12-advancement** run only to find a ban waiting on the other side of a Drowned's blade, and Kranelbart asked chat the single most ill-timed philosophical question in recent server history.

Death Toll[edit]

# Time (EST) Player Cause of Death Playtime Advancements
1 6:52 AM Izyk Slain by a Drowned 39 min 35 sec 12
2 11:45 AM ramminn Slain by a Zombie 26 sec 1
3 11:51 AM HappyJaeyun Slain by a Zombie 10 min 40 sec 9
4 12:53 PM santiorteg1 Shot by a Skeleton 3 min 42 sec 2
5 1:40 PM Kranelbart Thought they could swim forever 5 min 42 sec 4
6 8:42 PM WalkZDog Slain by JimmyyJohn using [#10 Hunters Club] 2 min 12 sec 1

Notable Deaths[edit]

WalkZDog — Hunted Down (8:42 PM)[edit]

Main article: Player:WalkZDog

JimmyyJohn collected another kill with his [#10 Hunters Club], this time dropping WalkZDog at 8:42 PM after what the kill message diplomatically described as happening "somehow." Whatever the method, the result was unambiguous: a clean execution and an immediate revenge arc declaration.

What made this death particularly chaotic was the simultaneous presence of WalkZDog and an apparent alt account, WalkZDog1, both active in chat at the same time. While WalkZDog was busy getting killed, WalkZDog1 was already drafting the retaliation strategy.

"yo jimmyyjohn thx bro"— WalkZDog

"time for my revenge arc"— WalkZDog1

"where are you"— JimmyyJohn

"in your mom"— WalkZDog1

The post-death chatter also drew in WalkZDog's account itself, which — despite technically being dead — continued broadcasting opinions, culminating in a brief existential crisis when WalkZDog1 noticed the chat coming from both accounts simultaneously.

"wait what"— WalkZDog1

"how did he say fuck you zold"— WalkZDog1

WalkZDog reconnected seconds after the kill and appeared unfazed, logging an additional session well into the evening. The revenge arc, as of press time, remains unresolved.

Izyk — Twelve and Done (6:52 AM)[edit]

In under forty minutes of total playtime, Izyk assembled one of the more impressive early-game advancement runs the server has seen: **12 advancements** spanning [Stone Age], [Getting an Upgrade], [Monster Hunter], [Suit Up], [Take Aim], [Not Today, Thank You], [Acquire Hardware], [Best Friends Forever], [A Seedy Place], and more. Twenty-six mob kills — including ten zombies, five skeletons, and five cows — suggest a player who was actively engaging with the world rather than hiding from it.

That confidence ultimately proved fatal. A Drowned ended the run at 6:52 AM.

The ban followed **two seconds later**, during the reconnect attempt. Izyk's final logged session lasted just 2 seconds before the server closed the door permanently.

ramminn & HappyJaeyun — The Team That Never Was (11:45 AM / 11:51 AM)[edit]

At 11:44 AM, two new players found each other in chat and immediately began the time-honored Xandaris tradition of asking whether it was hardcore.

"hardcore?"— ramminn

"yea"— HappyJaeyun

"wanna team?"— HappyJaeyun

The team formed approximately one minute before it dissolved. ramminn was killed by a Zombie at 11:45 AM, having survived a total of **26 seconds** — never mining a block, never crafting an item.

"fcuk im dead"— ramminn

"oh"— HappyJaeyun

HappyJaeyun pressed on alone and, to their credit, made something of the situation. In the **10 minutes 40 seconds** before a Zombie caught up with them at 11:51 AM, HappyJaeyun had earned **9 advancements** — including [Monster Hunter], [Not Today, Thank You], [Sweet Dreams], and [Acquire Hardware] — and racked up 15 mob kills (notably eight sheep, suggesting a dedicated food-gathering strategy). The solo run outlasted the partnership by nearly ten minutes.

Kranelbart — "What happend when i dye" (1:40 PM)[edit]

Kranelbart joined at 1:34 PM and, within two minutes, posed the following question to the server:

"what happend when i dye"— Kranelbart

"die"— Kranelbart

"you never come back"— JimmyyJohn

"oh"— Kranelbart

Five minutes and some change later, Kranelbart drowned. The death message — "thought they could swim forever" — reads less like a Minecraft log entry and more like an epitaph written by fate itself. Kranelbart's final words in chat, sent roughly a minute before the end:

"bye guys"— Kranelbart

In **5 minutes 42 seconds** of playtime, Kranelbart earned [Stone Age], [Getting an Upgrade], [Husbandry], and [Minecraft] — a respectable four advancements for someone who, philosophically speaking, was already making peace with mortality.

Statistics[edit]

Stat Value
Total Deaths 6
PvP Kills 1 (JimmyyJohn → WalkZDog)
By Zombie 2 (ramminn, HappyJaeyun)
By Drowned 1 (Izyk)
By Skeleton 1 (santiorteg1)
By Drowning 1 (Kranelbart)
Fastest Death ramminn (26 sec)
Longest Survival Izyk (39 min 35 sec)
First-Time Players 5 of 6
Total Advancements Earned 29