Editing Event:Obituaries March 28

{{DISPLAYTITLE:Obituaries — March 28, 2026}}
__NOTOC__
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Obituaries]]

March 28, 2026 saw five deaths across Xandaris, every one of them at the hands of hostile mobs — zombies claimed two, with a creeper, a skeleton, and an Enderman rounding out the roster. The day's richest story came from [[Player:Adhomz|Adhomz]], a newcomer who sprinted through eleven advancements, discovered diamonds, and pleaded for a teammate before a zombie intervened. Not far behind in ambition was [[Player:coltinaaa_|coltinaaa_]], who assembled a full iron kit in under nineteen minutes and was vaporized by a creeper sixty seconds after claiming '''[Suit Up]'''. At the other extreme, [[Player:Kypheron|Kypheron]] lasted just 46 seconds — long enough to kill one rabbit.

== Death Toll ==

{| class="wikitable sortable" style="width:100%;"
|-
! # !! Time (EST) !! Player !! Cause of Death !! Playtime !! Advancements
|-
| 1 || 9:39 AM || [[Player:coltinaaa_|coltinaaa_]] || Blown up by a Creeper || ~18 min 30 sec || 10
|-
| 2 || 11:47 AM || [[Player:Adhomz|Adhomz]] || Slain by a Zombie || ~28 min 2 sec || 11
|-
| 3 || 12:50 PM || [[Player:oh_ikonn|oh_ikonn]] || Shot by a Skeleton using Bow || ~1 min 56 sec || 1
|-
| 4 || 6:25 PM || [[Player:Kypheron|Kypheron]] || Slain by an Enderman || 46 sec || 1
|-
| 5 || 10:09 PM || [[Player:Wundertroete|Wundertroete]] || Slain by a Zombie || ~38 min 25 sec || 6
|}

== Notable Deaths ==

=== coltinaaa_ — Suited Up, Then Gone (9:39 AM) ===

[[Player:coltinaaa_|coltinaaa_]] played one of the most efficiently doomed runs in recent memory. In just over eighteen minutes they carved a path through ten advancements: '''[Stone Age]''' at 9:24 AM, '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', '''[Monster Hunter]''', '''[Acquire Hardware]''', '''[Isn't It Iron Pick]''', '''[Not Today, Thank You]''', and finally '''[Suit Up]''' — a full iron kit — at 9:38 AM. Along the way they racked up thirteen mob kills including six salmon, two zombies, two skeletons, a chicken, and a spider.

One minute after earning '''[Suit Up]''', a creeper ended everything. The armor was new. It did not help.

=== Adhomz — Diamonds, No Teammates (11:47 AM) ===

[[Player:Adhomz|Adhomz]] arrived at 11:20 AM with a lot of questions and a nearly empty server to ask them to.

{{quote|hi guys|Adhomz}}

{{quote|is anyone in this server|Adhomz}}

Nobody responded. Unfazed, Adhomz got to work. Over the next 28 minutes they earned '''eleven advancements''' — the day's highest — including the server's hardest to fake: '''[Diamonds!]''', claimed after mining a vein of six at 11:44 AM. They had iron armor ('''[Suit Up]'''), an iron pickaxe ('''[Isn't It Iron Pick]'''), and even a moment of genuine defensive skill when they deflected a projectile with a shield to earn '''[Not Today, Thank You]''' at 11:47 AM.

{{quote|can u be my teamate|Adhomz}}

The request, directed at pepperoni_dude at 11:41 AM, went unanswered in any useful sense. Less than a minute after earning '''[Not Today, Thank You]''', a zombie arrived and Adhomz's run ended.

=== oh_ikonn — One Hundred and Sixteen Seconds (12:50 PM) ===

[[Player:oh_ikonn|oh_ikonn]] joined at 12:48 PM, mined two blocks, and was shot by a skeleton at 12:50 PM. Total playtime: '''1 minute and 56 seconds'''. They earned the '''[Adventure]''' advancement, which was probably not how they imagined it going.

=== Kypheron — Forty-Six Seconds (6:25 PM) ===

[[Player:Kypheron|Kypheron]] holds the day's record for shortest run at '''46 seconds'''. In that time they managed to mine 18 blocks and kill one rabbit — an almost endearing level of productivity for less than a minute of life. An Enderman ended the evening before Kypheron could build on it.

=== Wundertroete — I'm Sorry (10:09 PM) ===

[[Player:Wundertroete|Wundertroete]] brought roughly 26 minutes of prior playtime into tonight's session and added twelve more, earning six total advancements: '''[Stone Age]''', '''[Minecraft]''', '''[Getting an Upgrade]''', '''[Monster Hunter]''', '''[Adventure]''', and '''[Husbandry]'''. They killed ten mobs — four zombies, a zombie villager, a chicken, a sheep, and a cow among them.

At 10:04 PM, five minutes before the end, they sent a single message:

{{quote|im sry|Wundertroete}}

What they were apologizing for is unknown. A zombie did not ask for an explanation.

== Statistics ==

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Stat !! Value
|-
| Total Deaths || 5
|-
| PvP Kills || 0
|-
| By Zombie || 2 (Adhomz, Wundertroete)
|-
| By Creeper || 1 (coltinaaa_)
|-
| By Skeleton || 1 (oh_ikonn)
|-
| By Enderman || 1 (Kypheron)
|-
| Fastest Death || Kypheron (46 sec)
|-
| Longest Survival || Wundertroete (~38 min 25 sec)
|-
| First-Time Players || 4 of 5 (coltinaaa_, Adhomz, oh_ikonn, Kypheron)
|-
| Total Advancements Earned || 29
|}